De Facto Parentage: The Basics

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Someone who has acted as your child's parent could start a court case to be named a legal parent, with all the rights and responsibilities that entails. Read this to learn how could affect your own rights and what to do if you've received these court papers. #3624EN

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Yes, you should read this if you live in Washington State with your child, and someone who is not your child's biological parent has been acting in a parent role for your child.

You will learn about a legal process that person could start to ask to become the child's legal parent. You will also learn what that means for your own parental rights, and what you should do if you get court papers.

This refers to someone who is acting as a parent, or a parent in fact. This person is not a biological parent but might as well be because they perform the role.

Someone who claims to be a de facto parent of a child under age 18 can start a court case to legally be named a child's parent.

It could. Do not ignore any court papers you get from your ex. You must file some form of written response.

*If you receive de facto parentage Summons and Petition papers, you must respond by the deadline to do so. Our Respond to a Petition for De Facto Parentage packet has the forms and instructions for doing this. You should also try to talk to a lawyer right away. Contact info is below.

If you do not, your ex will get a court order giving them everything they have asked the court for. It is very hard to undo that kind of court order.

You must file some kind of written response before the deadline listed in the court papers you received. Our Respond to a Petition for De Facto Parentage packet has the forms and instructions for doing this.

After you have filed your response and had it delivered to (had it served on) your ex, the judge will review the paperwork you and your ex have filed with the court.

Maybe. The judge can decide the case without a hearing or might decide that a hearing is needed. 

If the judge does decide to hold a hearing, the court will schedule it quickly. When you list your address in court papers, make sure you put an address where you will be sure to reliably get mail. 

The person who filed this type of case doesn't have to prove that something is wrong with you. They are trying to prove that they also should be a parent. In that way, it is easier for them to get what they want. 

All these things must be true of the person who started the case:   

  1. The person lived with the child as a regular member of the child's household for a long time. 

  2. The person consistently took care of the child. 

  3. The person took on full responsibilities of a parent without expecting payment for doing so. 

  4. The person held out the child as their own child. 

  5. The person had a bonded relationship with the child. 

  6. The child's actual parent encouraged the other person's bonded relationship with the child. 

  7. It's in the best child's interest to continue this relationship. 

No. A De Facto Parentage court case can be used to take custody away from you.

If you know you will need someone to take care of your children, you should use Power of Attorney instead. Then you can avoid court and keep control and custody of your children. Read Power of Attorney (POA) for Parents to learn more.

If you have received a combination of cases at once, respond in writing as best you can, before your deadline, and then contact a lawyer right away. Contact info below.

Not really. The de facto parent will have the responsibility to pay child support. However, if the child does not live with you, you will have to pay child support.

No. You should only agree to this if you want the grandparents to have all the same rights and responsibilities as you and the other parent. This means, among other things, that the grandparents could take custody away from you. It also means that they would have control over the child.

You do not need to have a court order to let the grandparents have a relationship with the child.

Get Legal Help

Visit Northwest Justice Project to find out how to get legal help. 

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Last Review and Update: Nov 14, 2023
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