The Other Parent has Taken My Child
Read this if the other parent or person claiming the right to legal custody has taken your children away from you (with or without a court order). #3118EN
- Should I read this?
- I have a court order granting me custody. The other parent has taken my child. What should I do?
- What if I do not have a custody order?
- We were never married. The child's birth certificate has both our names. Is that like a custody order?
- We were never married. We do not have a custody order. Does having a paternity acknowledgment help me?
- We have a court order of parentage. It does not talk about custody. What can I do?
- I have a custody order now. What next?
- I have just filed (for a DVPO, parenting plan, or other). I do not have a custody order yet. What can I do until I get an order?
- What if I already know where my child is?
- What if the child is out of state?
- What is a Writ of Habeas Corpus?
- How do I get a writ?
- Get Legal Help
Should I read this?
Yes, if the other parent or person claiming the right to legal custody has taken your children away from you (with or without a court order). It is always best to talk to a lawyer. This publication is no substitute for legal advice. It does have
Resources and suggestions.
Some information about whether and how to get a writ of habeas corpus, a special order requiring the police to take steps to get your child back.
I have a court order granting me custody. The other parent has taken my child. What should I do?
*“Custody order" here can mean a temporary or permanent parenting plan or residential schedule, or a custody order that is part of a Parentage, Nonparent Custody, or Order of Protection case.
* “The other parent” here can also mean a non-parent with court-ordered custody or visitations rights, like a grandparent.
If you are sure the other parent has abducted your child, do these right away:
Go to your local police department to file a custodial interference report. Insist on speaking to someone who handles child abductions. Ask them to enter the descriptive information about your child into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) computer.
If law enforcement does not enter information about your child into the NCIC computer, contact a local missing children's clearinghouse (http://www.missingkids.com/Clearinghouses has a list). Federal law requires them to make the entry.
Call the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 1-800-843-5678, to report your child as missing.
Contact non-profit missing children's organizations (such as Operation Lookout, (425)-771-7335). They may be able to help you organize your search or get legal help.
You can ask the police or prosecutor to file criminal charges against the abductor. In most cases, the abductor must be violating (breaking) an existing custody order. There are exceptions to this. Check with local law enforcement.
If charges are filed, make sure law enforcement enters the state felony warrant in the NCIC computer. If the abductor has fled the state, ask the prosecutor to apply for a federal Unlawful Flight to Avoid Prosecution (UFAP) warrant. This will get the FBI and other federal agencies to help.
You should search on your own for your child. Parents very often can find their children on their own and get them back peaceably without involving the courts. You can:
Call Operation Lookout at (425) -771-7335 for advice, help, and referrals.
If your children are school age, ask the school to notify you when another school asks for their records. Then you will know where the other parent is enrolling the child.
Have your health care provider tell you if the child’s medical records are requested and from where. The abducting parent may seek transfer of your child’s records, especially if the child has special health problems.
If you and the abducting parent share joint credit cards, information from the company that issued the cards about where the other parent is using them can help you track their movements. A credit reporting agency might also give you information about the abducting parent's whereabouts.
If you know where the abducting parent has a bank account, the bank may be able to tell you where the account was transferred or where withdrawals or deposits are being made.
Check with the abducting parent's employer.
Check with the other parent’s friends and/or relatives.
Check at any of the abducting parent’s “hangouts.”
Any other caregivers your child had may know the child’s and abducting parent’s location.
If Child Protective Services (CPS) has ever gotten complaints or reports about the abducting parent, you should report the abduction to CPS. Even if there are no prior complaints, you should make a report to CPS now if there is any risk of harm to your child now. CPS can look out for other referrals and let you know about them. If they have the abductor’s address, they may require a court order before they can release it.
What if I do not have a custody order?
Get one! The police may not be able to help until you get a custody order. You must call them first and make a report anyway.
If you and the abducting parent are married, you can file for divorce and ask for a temporary order giving you custody. You must file a motion for temporary orders, schedule a court hearing, and give the other parent notice. You may be able to get an emergency temporary custody order.
If there has been any physical violence or threat of it against you/your child by the abducting parent, you can apply for a domestic violence protection order (DVPO) to keep the abducting parent from bothering or harassing you and/or your children. It can also give you custody.
Even if you and the abducting parent were not married, you can get a DVPO if you had the child, lived, or were in a relationship together. Read Domestic Violence: Can the System Help Me to learn more.
You can get a DVPO without a lawyer. There is no filing fee. You first get a two-week temporary order (an ex parte order). Then the sheriff tries to serve the abducting parent before you return to court for a "permanent" (one year) Protection Order. At that return hearing, you should offer all the evidence you can about abuse. This might include police reports, medical records, and witnesses’ written statements.
*Protection order forms are available from the court clerk or your local domestic violence program, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1.800.799.7233. Or use our do-it-yourself interview program, Get a Domestic Violence Protection Order, to fill out the forms at WashingtonLawHelp.org.
*Talk to a lawyer before filing for an Order for Protection if the court has entered a temporary parenting plan or custody order very recently.
If you cannot get the other parent personally served, you may be able to get court permission to serve by certified mail at their last known address. Then the court will enter your permanent order if the other parent does not show up at the hearing. The permanent protection order acts as a custody order.
If you and the other parent are not married and you do not need a protection order, you must file a petition for the court to decide parentage and a motion for a temporary custody order. Filing a Petition to Decide Parentage has forms and instructions. You can also hire a lawyer or ask the prosecuting attorney to file for you. The prosecutor represents the state's interest, not yours, but can help you get a temporary custody order.
We were never married. The child’s birth certificate has both our names. Is that like a custody order?
No. Unmarried parents do not have legal custody, no matter what the birth certificate says. If there is no custody order, you must file for parentage.
We were never married. We do not have a custody order. Does having an acknowledgment of parentage help me?
Probably not. The parents sign an Acknowledgment of Parentage and file it with Vital Records. It is not a court order. If the deadline for a parent to rescind (take back) the acknowledgement has passed, you can file a Petition for a Parenting Plan and get a temporary custody order. Use Petition for a Parenting Plan, Residential Schedule and/or Child Support: Parentage Cases.
We have a court order of parentage. It does not talk about custody. What can I do?
You should file a Petition for a Parenting Plan and a motion for a temporary custody order. Use Petition for a Parenting Plan, Residential Schedule and/or Child Support: Parentage Cases.
I have a custody order now. What next?
Do everything listed above in I have a court order granting me custody. The other parent has taken my child. What can I do. You can do some things at the same time. Example: you should still file a custodial interference report right away.
I have just filed (for a DVPO, parenting plan, or other). I do not have a custody order yet. What can I do until I get an order?
You can be doing everything else listed above, such as contacting missing children's organizations and searching for your child through various records.
What if I already know where my child is?
If your children are still in the immediate area or you know exactly where they are, you can try to get them back. Do not breach the peace or put yourself or the children in harm’s way.
If your child is in school or day care, you may pick up the child there. If you already have a custody order, you must show the school or care provider a certified copy. You may ask the police to go with you to keep the peace. They will not enforce your order.
If friends or relatives of the abducting parent who are sympathetic to you are caring for your child, you may be able to get them to give you the child or agree to try to get the other parent to return the child.
You may be able to convince the other parent to return the child. A parent who does not usually have full-time responsibility for a child may return the child when things get too hard. The other parent's friends or family may help you if they get tired of helping the other parent. If you can go to the other parent's home to try this without the risk of violence, bring a support person (or the police).
Do not break and enter or try a dramatic rescue. This could cause your child more emotional damage and you could face arrest!
What if the child is out of state?
You should contact missing children's agencies. They often have contacts in other states and can get you ready for what may happen once you go to that state.
You should be in contact with a lawyer in that state. Legal services offices for clients with low incomes exist throughout the U.S. Many handle child abduction cases. They may require a referral from your local office. See contact info below.
What is a Writ of Habeas Corpus?
It is a court order demanding some action from a sheriff or other person. In family law cases, the court demands that one parent turn a child over to the court.
Courts use this powerful tool and extraordinary measure rarely. You should ask for a writ in your custody situation only when other measures have failed. A writ gives law enforcement the power to
break and enter to find your child
arrest anyone who stands in the way of getting the child back
How do I get a writ?
It depends on the county. Generally, you file a petition with a copy of the order giving you custody. The court will decide whether to give you a writ and whether to give law enforcement the power to use forcible entry or arrest to get the children back.
The following counties have their own forms and procedures (you must talk to their clerk or family law facilitator to learn for more):
Get Legal Help
Visit Northwest Justice Project to find out how to get legal help.