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Guide: When the other parent has taken your child

Northwest Justice Project

English

Learn your options in and out of court when the other parent or person claiming the right to legal custody has abducted your children. 

1. Fast facts

If your children’s other parent has taken the children away from you, with or without a court order, and you’re sure the other parent has abducted them, you may have options if you act right away. 

Try to read this entire guide before you decide what to do. It can be easier, cheaper, faster, and less traumatic for your children if you can get them back on your own. But depending on your situation, it might not be safe for you or for the children for you to try without the help of law enforcement or the court.

What court order do I need to prove I have custody? 

Before you can get help getting your children back, you may have to prove that you have a legal right to custody.

A custody order can mean a temporary or permanent parenting plan or residential schedule, or an order that’s part of a parentage, minor guardianship, or protection order case. Custody orders from different states may have different names. What’s important is that the court order says that the children live with you most of the time. 

Can my custody order be against a guardian or a stepparent? 

Yes. The “other parent” here can also mean a non-parent with court-ordered custody or visitations rights, like a grandparent, other relative, or stepparent. 

What if I don’t have a custody order? 

If you don’t already have a court order giving you custody of the children, you’ll probably have to ask a court for one. Law enforcement may not be able to help until you get a custody order. You should call them first and make a report anyway.

If the person who took your child isn't the other parent and doesn't have legal guardianship, you shouldn't need a court order. Use the child's birth certificate to show that you’re a legal parent and the other person isn't. Explain to law enforcement that the other person has no legal authority to keep your child away from you. 

If you allowed your child to live with this other person for a long time before they kept your child from you, it can be harder to convince law enforcement to get involved. They still must take your report and investigate. 

2. Resources